Hello! My name is Bob, and despite all the UFO photos released by the government last week, I do not believe aliens have visited earth. In fact, I do not believe aliens will ever visit earth. So stop spending all your free time pouring over all those photos looking for “evidence” of aliens, and instead get yourself caught up on the happenings at your favorite farmhouse-focused craft brewery!
Also, feel free to laugh at me if any of the following happen:
some kid riding a bicycle starts flying through the air to evade the police
a spaceship blows up the White House
you see a couple of FBI agents being chased by a Cigarette-Smoking Man
war is ended by a race of beings toting a book entitled “To Serve Man”
the next Artemis mission discovers an obelisk on the moon
Before we get to the main news, here’s a quick update on “The Saga of the Broken Beer Truck”. Recall that last week we reported that Farm Road (the Amory’s Tomb sessionable farmhouse ale) had not yet returned to draught because the truck that was supposed to carry it broke.
I am pleased to report that Allen and Rick found a truck that works, and Farm Road is now on tap. I had one last weekend, and boy did it taste fresh! Oh, there’s more new beer coming this week, too, as you’ll see below. But first…
FEATURED EVENT
Friday Night Dance Parties Returning to the Beer Garden at the End of May
Now that it’s getting warmer it is well and truly Beer Garden season. And that can only mean one thing - it’s time for the return of the Metrowest’s Only Open Air Dance Party! The first one will be on Friday, May 29th
That’s right, the popular Friday Night Dance Parties are returning to Amory’s Tomb in the Beer Garden. Your featured DJ will be MATTY B. (The all-caps is intentional.) No, MATTY B is not Allen using one of his half-dozen DJ aliases. MATTY B is an entirely different person, and is a frequent DJ at the Tomb.
Allen says MATTY B’s Friday night sets will be a more dialed-back breakbeat set versus his usual hard-hitting stuff. I have no idea what Allen is talking about, but I do know that MATTY B always delivers a great set!
As noted above, the first dance party will be in a couple of weeks, on Friday, May 29th. Why the delay, you ask? Well, first of all Friday Night Dance Parties are, of course, weather permitting. And this Friday the weather looks terrible! If it isn’t going to be actively raining in the evening, it’ll at least be damp and probably cool. That’s not a great way to kick off the season.
There’s also a famous swamp metal band coming to town on May 22nd and MATTY B needs to take his kids to soccer. That’s cool! Families should always come first.
Sadly, he said he needed to take his kids to “football”. Ugh. Next thing you know, we’ll be sitting in the Beer Garden eating “crisps” while wearing “trainers” on our feet. I knew AT’s love for real ale in casks would lead to no good!
Anyway, the first Friday Night Garden Dance Party will be on May 29th. From there, the Metrowest’s only open air dance party will continue throughout the summer. Personally, I am hoping the lasers make a return, too!
CAN UPDATE
New IPA This Week! No Need to Declare an IPA Draught Drought Emergency!
You may recall that shortly after the Taproom opened, Amory’s Tomb somehow completely ran out of IPAs. The ensuing IPA draught drought lasted for a few weeks until the delicious Rolling Through Outer Space appeared on tap and in cans.
Rolling Through Outer Space has proven popular; so popular, in fact, that AT is on its last keg. Fortunately, Allen and Rick have already brewed a new IPA, and it goes on draught in the Taproom this week!
The new IPA is called Unspoken Emojis. It’s a West Coast-style IPA brewed with Massachusetts-grown Crystal hops, as well as Simcoe and Cascade hops. At 6.0%, Unspoken Emojis is bright and dry, and most closely resembles AT favorite The Golden Rule, but with a different hop and malt profile. I have always really liked The Golden Rule, particularly in the warmer months, so I am looking forward to giving this one a try!
If you are an IPA fan, or you want to bring someone new to the brewery whose favorite style is IPA, fear not! There will be no IPA draught drought (It’s weird how those 2 words are pronounced so differently, like maybe one of them is misspelled…) in the Spring of 2026! Unspoken Emojis is here to save the day, and will be available in cans and on tap later this week!
COMING ATTRACTIONS
Here’s what’s coming soon at Amory’s Tomb
May 13 Wheat & Water Crafted Doughz
May 21 Wurst Nächt (an unsanctioned meat & greet)
May 27 Wheat & Water Crafted Doughz
May 29 Friday Night Garden Party
June 7 Maynard PrideFest
June 12 Friday Night Garden Party: Asleep in a Box
June 13 Maynard Jazz Fest
June 27 Nashua Rivers Brewer’s Fest
See you soon at the Tomb!
